"Her appearance can show loyalty to pop culture, to comfort, or to her King. Her appearance can set an example and show femininity and modesty to be as beautiful as they really are." - Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin, What is Biblical Femininity?
As I complete my "Week of Feminine Dress", I am left with a head full of swirling thoughts. What does it mean to be feminine? Am I seeking to portray to a hurting world that I revel in the gift of femininity that God has given me? And, am I seeking to display the beauty of God's design in creating me female by the way I dress?
And more importantly even than that (since the outward is simply a manifestation of the inward), am I following God's design for Biblical Femininity in my heart, as I seek to follow His design for my life whole heartedly?
Now, the last thing I am trying to do in this post is to make this into a legalistic thing. For me, as I have studied Deut. 22:5, I cannot take this verse to mean that women are allowed to wear skirts only (if you'd like to discuss this further, you can e-mail me). However, in this passage, as well as throughout Scripture, we are called to dress modestly, not to draw undue attention to ourselves, and to dress distinctly feminine (see Proverbs 31, 1 Peter 3:3 and 4, 1 Timothy 5:2, Proverbs 11:22, and as mentioned above, Deut. 22:5).
What distinctly feminine exactly means, I am not in a position to say....BUT, what I am saying is that I personally want to be someone who dresses distinctly feminine (not just modest), someone who brings honor to my husband and Heavenly Father through the way I dress, and someone who says to a terribly mixed-up and confused world.... I am thrilled with the way God has created me, I am proud to call myself His daughter, and yes, there is a clear distinction between male and female and their roles, and I like it that way!
Want to join me?
More thoughts to come....
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Reflections on Feminine Dress
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37 comments:
"I personally want to be someone who dresses distinctly feminine (not just modest), someone who brings honor to my husband and Heavenly Father through the way I dress, and someone who says to a terribly mixed-up and confused world.... I am thrilled with the way God has created me, I am proud to call myself His daughter, and yes, there is a clear distinction between male and female and their roles, and I like it that way!"
Well said, and I agree with you wholeheartedly!
"I personally want to be someone who dresses distinctly feminine (not just modest), someone who brings honor to my husband and Heavenly Father through the way I dress, and someone who says to a terribly mixed-up and confused world.... I am thrilled with the way God has created me, I am proud to call myself His daughter, and yes, there is a clear distinction between male and female and their roles, and I like it that way!"
I wish I could have summed it up like that! I realized what a gift it is to be able to be feminine! I am definitely joining you! Blessings :)
I believe that the best way to show an outward difference between man and women is for the women to wear skirts/dresses and have at least shoulder length hair. Men should wear pants and have their hair cut short. In this confusing world that has crossed all lines and boundaries (you know what I mean, I will not spell it out for the sake of young ones reading this) how better a way for us to clearly show them what God would have them to be, and to clearly draw the line for them. No gray areas. Our children need this from us now more than ever. Top that off with modest dress, and we can give them a gift that will keep on giving throughout their lives!!!!
Joy-Thanks so much for guest posting yesterday-I loved all your ideas and the discussion they led to!
Hmm, distinctively feminine? I need to look those versus up...too often I throw a tee and jeans on. i feel awful but it's easy.
I need to get my thoughts from the week down on paper, too. It was a fun challenge that I was sad to end.
thanks again-come back ANYTIME:)
I really am enjoying this topic right now. As it is important to me, as I raise girls. Modesty is important at our home. It is something that each day I check my girls over for.
These post has me pondering! Thanks for stirring that pondering. I love wearing skirts and dress. Infact I did not wear a dress this week. But a few weeks ago I wore one everyday. I think that it changes you, in how you act. I would love to see girls go back to wearing dresses to school and boys, wearing nice polo shirts. I do think the way we dress effects how we act. Maybe we would see an increase in manners, kindness, and over all better attitudes in our children if they wore nice clothing to school.
I am totally with you on this! Very well said!
I have enjoyed your modest week and now your feminine week. I too have a hard time using Deut 22:5 to exclude pants. I have been pondering this for some time. I have little to "give up" for Christ. I never drank, smoked, swore etc. Can I give up my comfy warm pants...if that is what He wants! I rarely wear jeans and t-shirts...because of the frumpy look. I have a feeling, if I took a week to dress feminine, it wouldn't be as bad as I thought:-)
Hello! I'm new to your blog and I'm glad that I found it.
In highschool (about 20 years ago!) I wore skirts all of the time. I just liked it. I did not like legalism nor do I now. I wore them by choice. I agree with the previous poster, it does just make me feel good.
Right now, I only have one skirt that fits me. I have 5 adorable skirts waiting for me to lose 5-10 pounds. I have been desiring to wear skirts for a while now because I know how good and feminine it makes me feel.
I am so glad that I found the 7 day challenge. I look forward to doing that soon!
Janet
www.homeward4.blogspot.com
www.homeschoolercafe.blogspot.com
Thank you for this post. Just last night I attended our women's Beth Moore study on Daniel and she went into modest/feminine dress. I was encouraged to wear skirts more often and portray myself as the woman God intended me to be.
We are holy vessels of God. Satan wants to take that away from us, make us believe we are unholy, dirty, unfeminine. When we feel like that, we don't act feminine anymore and we are will also act unholy.
My girls have been wearing dresses and skirts for a year now and I intend to follow suit.
Hello Joy,
I really do love your thoughts on this :O) I will say that during this challenge I wasn't going to really challenge myself but just enjoy dressing up more. And the Holy Spirit really changed my heart (isn't that how its suppose to be with change?) Anyway, now I'm drawn to dressing like a woman. I still have my jeans and my capris, however when I wear them I am either out walking, or gardening or grilling in the back yard :O) But for everything else I'm drawn to my skirts ;O) I like it that way. As for my little girl, well I'm setting an example for her, but I do ask her everyday if she would like a skirt or shorts. She usually says a skirt now because that is what momma has been wearing. However, those capri's would have been nice last night because she went on a walk with her grandparents and skinned her poor little knee, so capri's today are in order!
I truly believe that each person much seek Christ and everything will fall into place, IF we are truly seeking Christ...
Anyway I think I'm ramblin' a bit, love the post!! Keep this feminine thought rolling!! We all need a bit of a cheerleading section in this world we live in!!
Smiles!
I really enjoyed this challenge. The holy spirit really changed my heart with this. It's amazing the avenues that God uses to change our hearts. I wrote a post on modesty of the heart and I hope you stop by and read just how much
I was blessed by this week.
I enjoyed your dress week. My girls (18, 13) and I have been discussing a lot what make us feminine and modest. We have come to realize this sooo much more then just wearing a dress or not. This is heart issue. I know I am much more concerned what my girls think and feel in their hearts about this subject. We are still seeking the Lord as what He call us (family) to. We are not just assuming, but seeking Him. Clarice
Joy,
Loved your posting on feminine dress. The photos were beautiful! I can tell that you are a beautiful person on the inside too...
I think it is funny that we are focused on the outward appearance... many who have posted are challenged by wearing a skirt. I wear them some time, but mostly wear pants/longer shorts... yet I never consider that I am dressing masculine. I really think it is a frame of mind... our culture has forced people to become more masculine in many respects...feminine qualities are almost despised or hated... thus, they are weeded out of our culture all together one child at a time.
I think femininity comes from the heart...taking joy and pride in the fact that we are woman...in our home, as mother's, as wives...sharing this joy with our families...seeking to enjoy the way God created us, instead of something we are not, and through the shaping of our hearts toward obedience to God.
I have always enjoyed being a girl. And, it has taken a long time to step back from the worldly ways of my youth... and truly embrace my role as woman.
I truly believe being purposeful is a good thing. Thinking through our actions brings us toward obedience. We just need to be careful not to become focused on the "skirt" and more on the heart...
I truly think your post has offered that opinion... your post was really thoughtful and I am challenged!
Many Blessing to you this Day!
I enjoyed your posts on this subject. It's one that is typically avoided in today's culture.
Dressing "distinctly feminine" for myself and family is wearing dresses/skirts full time. In doing that of course it's modest dresses/skirts.
I'm not in anyway trying to be legalistic at all. I've just been through and witnessed women dressing modestly and in only skirts, and their hearts really not being focused on the Lord.
I'm just saying for a visual distinction between a man and woman a dress is universally known to mean a woman. Like on the signs at a restroom.
Again thank you for sharing your week.
Blessings
I stumbled upon your blog just this week and have enjoyed the theme! Over the past few weeks I have been rethinking modesty. I am a newlywed, and fairly young. In fact, most of the clothes that I own are from my public high school days (Oh, I would have loved to have been homeschooled! Not to mention, I was not a believer at that time.). As such, I have been cleaning out my closets. Since being married, femininity is a whole new world for me - and it really helps that my husband makes me feel like a beautiful and precious treasure. I enjoy being a woman!
I have three quick questions for you (I hope that this is not redundant from past discussions):
1. With a "modest" budget, and after clearing out 60% of my wardrobe, what is the best way to stretch my dollar for new clothes, and/or how can I make my existing wardrobe appear new, chic, and fresh?
2. As I have grown and matured, it has become apparent that the Lord has blessed me richly with a woman's figure - particularly above my waist (if you know what I mean). How can I dress modestly and still be chic? Most shirts "in my size" are very tight and revealing. It is nearly unavoidable to be self-indulgent when wearing tops "in my size". When I move to an even larger size, most times I feel like I am wearing old-lady moo moos. What styles work well for women with shapely curves?
3. What modest styles do you recommend for maternity wear?
Amen sister! This is so good... can't wait to hear more!
And while you are talking about modest style for fully endowed ladies, do you have advice about wearing dressy feminine styles in cold weather. I know the simple thing is skirts down to your toes, but it isn't always very lovely...especially if you are short.
I know you are in Indonesia, but maybe you can point me to someone who talks about this who lives somewhere cold. I wear skirts in the warm weather, and always to church even in the cold.(I figure if I would dress up for a wedding, why not dress up to worship the Lord.)
But, I have a lot of pain in my legs. Skirts are difficult for me when it is cold. Sometimes my legs hurt even with trousers and I have to wear longjohns or pj trousers under them. We do a lot of walking here, so I don't get the protection of a vehicle all the time.
Thanks,
Sandy in the UK
PS I am praying for you.
Hi Joy,
Even seeing you and your week of wearing skirts, it has had me thinking so much. I don't have enough skirts to wear for a week! And, I'm not sure that is a good thing.
I love that you are sharing on this topic, and I'm excited to see what God continues to say to my heart and to yours.
I know that I am not dressing as feminine as I could be and I could be honoring my husband and God more by changing in this!
Thank you for sharing your heart!
Love,
Monica
Joy,
I've so appreciated your challenge - and your heart - both shine through beautifully. Because of your posts I've been rethinking and noticing things a lot more.
You're right, if the ladies in the 50's etc, could wear a dress and look lovely (before all our wonderful modern conveniences) we sure could too!
I was reading "Doctor Dan the Bandage Man" a golden book from the 50's and 'Mother' was dressed quite lovely...I was reminded again of what you've been saying.
Thank you for your encouragement and exhortation!! Hugs.
What a beautiful post! I agree about the femininity and modesty issues you talked about, and I look forward to getting back into my non-maternity clothing now that my fourth baby is here. Thanks for posting this - I look forward to hearing more from you! And thank you for keeping this what is really is - a matter of the heart.
Melissa
Okay I just have to leave a comment...
I appreciate your post and your thinking on this subject. I feel you handle it in a balanced and gracious manner for which I am grateful.
However, it seems like I keep reading Christian women's blogs (or comments) about "wearing skirts" like this somehow makes you more spiritual or feminine or more ...something. That thinking, honestly, scares me. Modesty is a virtue that is a rule for women in dress. Wearing a skirt is, in my opinion, NOT a rule for a Christian woman. Femininity is a heart issue, not an outward appearance issue. To me, femininity IS wearing jeans and a t-shirt because it means that I am free to get down in the grass and roll around with my little ones and rejoice in my role as their mommy, and not be worried about my skirt flying up or getting filthy. Femininity to me is letting my husband be the leader of our home and not trying to usurp his authority. Femininity is listening to how God is leading in my heart as a woman, wife and mother. I am far more concerned about how I waste time, envy a neighbor, or treat my family over whether I am wearing a skirt while doing it. And I think God is far more concerned about our hearts than our outward appearances.
All that to say ... if one chooses to wear a skirt or not, that's a personal choice, and I'm fine with either one. I feel we have freedom in Christ on this one. But let's just be careful as Christian woman to not use this as something to judge others by or make into a legalistic rule.
I have really been trying to be sure to add more femininity to my dressing. I've always dressed modestly, but find that I dress more for comfort and practicality. As the name of my blog is Daughter of the King, I would like to reflect that in how I dress.
Thanks for writing on this topic.
Dresses or pants? mmm ...Ever thought of wearing pants and dresses at the same time?!Two of my favourite outfits are a long tunic style dress with a mandarin style collar and long sleeves,the other a silk embroidered dress coat which I wear over stylish well cut pants. I am slim but I believe this style of dress would suit bigger girls too. The tunics are from Pakistan but I found them at a garage sale and on a market stall!
One of the most Godly, feminine ladies I know is an Indian lady, she wears the most beautiful saris (sometimes) and tunics with pants...in all sorts of colours, often embroidered. Sometimes it is worth looking at other cultures where the women dress modestly but beautifully for ideas and then adapting them for our own.
What a great post!! I have some catching up to do here as I read that you had a feminine week and a modest week challenge! This is something God has definitely been impressing on my heart-- to glorify him completely and especially in how I dress. I've been praying that he would help me find skirts and dresses I can afford at thrift stores and so far I've found quite I few! I'm excited!
I've been so intrigued by this series, Joy. I admit that even though I also dress pretty modestly and feminine--but not necessarily with a spiritual focus in that regard, I still revert back to the thinking that so many people choose to do this with a legalistic viewpoint. My reflex on this subject is there are so many things that I think that Christ would rather have me concentrate on--social injustices, broken lives, and unreconciled souls. I know your heart is in the right place and appreciate your humility and grace with presenting it. It seems that your approach is the only authentic, grace-giving, non judgmental look at modesty I've experienced. Hoping others will follow your example!
I'm doing my best to do this! Fun!
This is my first time to your blog.
Anyway, I have visited several blogs which discussed the topic of feminine dress. Although the topic does give me something to think about and ponder, I'm not sure if I could wear dresses 24/7, or if God really requires me to wear dresses 24/7.
Currently, I still wear a lot of pants, bermuda shorts (which are similar to capris), capris, t-shirts, and tank tops (I only wear the tank tops in my own home; usually NOT in public unless it's extremely hot here, like over 105 degrees). I'm not too big on skirts and dresses, and most of the ones I see in the stores (that are my size) are too short, too ugly, or too "revealing."
Sigh! I guess that I have a LONG ways to go in regards to being feminine. I like the way I dress, but it seems that those who wear dresses a lot would consider my style, "too frumpy." I don't know. I tried wearing skirts around the house last year and it didn't last long . . .
Anyway, thank you for helping me to revisit this topic again.
Hi Joy,
I loved your post. What is the time difference from you to us here in Missouri?
Thanks for this post, I really enjoy your blog :)
Thank you for this series, Joy...
I so appreciate your heart....
All's grace,
Ann
Great post, Joy! I'm on home assignment right now and am enjoying buying some pretty feminine skirts and capris while here. My frustration is that I can't get a slip ANYWHERE. Not even Walmart and JCP carry them. Again, this goes back to the modesty issue. We will make an impact by being different!
Hope all your preparations for home assignment are going well; there's always so much to do.
You handled this so graciously. To be honest, if we were to take the Deut. passage as some do try to make it ... men would be wearing robes and so would we! :) I love that you were so careful to say "distinctly feminine" instead of giving rules that may or may not be followed in any given culture. God's Word transcends culture and time and place and yet applies to it, too. You did a great job and have me thinking.
What has really impressed me with this whole thing is how you've managed to take a highly controversial subject and present it in a non-offensive way.
Great job! (o:
Well said! My question is a practical one...I feel like I can get so much more done ( and done faster!) around the house in athletic shoes.I am forever running up and down stairs during the day. They are so unfeminine looking!! Do you have any comfortable, yet feminine shoe suggestions?
Nina
In response to the question about what to do when it is cold out... how can you wear a skirt?
I wear leggings, and a warm slip, under a long skirt made of a heavier fabric. It gets pretty cold here in BC, and I do okay.
The whole skirt/pants topic can be really divisive, and we have to realize that it is not clearly stated in the Bible, "thou shalt wear skirts". Personally, I feel that since I am in a mixed up, perverse world, I want to clearly identify who God created me to be. I find it easiest to identify myself as a woman by wearing skirts, others may choose other ways... but we must not think we're better because aren't "narrow minded" like those skirt wearers, or "more modest" because we only wear skirts!
Thank you for writing on this subject Joy. I really do believe that God is more interested in our hearts than our outward appearance, but that doesn't mean He's DISinterested in our appearance either! lol.
I think you summed it up so well with:
I personally want to be someone who dresses distinctly feminine (not just modest), someone who brings honor to my husband and Heavenly Father through the way I dress, and someone who says to a terribly mixed-up and confused world.... I am thrilled with the way God has created me, I am proud to call myself His daughter, and yes, there is a clear distinction between male and female and their roles, and I like it that way!
NW,
I'm sorry, but I am no fashionista, and the Lord has certainly not given me the gift (up top) like he has you...so I have no advice to offer. I would recommend going over to Kristin www.thefaithfulfashionista.blogspot.com and asking her. She always has good ideas.
Ellen, we are 13 hours ahead of the West Coast :)
MamaAmy,
I understand where you are coming from. I think that in the Christian community we need to be careful not to add to Scripture by saying skirts are biblical, etc, etc.
However, on the flip side, those of us who do not wear skirts full time need to extend grace to our sisters that do, and not assume that they are judging others that don't. I know several girls that wear skirts full time purely because of personal conviction and preference, and many times other Christian ladies feel defensive, simply because they have chosen a different road.
Just some more food for thought! :)
Thanks, everyone for your inspiring and encouraging comments!
Blessings,
Joy
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